Partendo da un fatto di cronaca avvenuto negli usa (una ragazzina tredicenne suicida dopo che il suo ragazzo di sedici anni la lascio’ prendendola in giro), apophenia sviluppa un’interessante analisi sul modo di essere genitori oggi che ho qui di seguito riportato.
L’immaturita’ educativa di molti genitori deriva da una immaturita’ individuale come singole persone, ancor prima che come coppia e famiglia. Ed e’ fortemente legata al modello di societa’ (occidentale) dei consumi per cui l’apparire e il successo, il gradimento agli altri contano piu’ di se stessi.
Much to my dismay, parenting today seems to require absolute belief that you’re child is the best child ever. Many parents think that their child can do no wrong and, thus, are unable to hear critiques of their own children. In some ways, it’s not surprising… people have fewer kids (who are mostly wanted thanks to birth control), inhabit single family homes, and live in a nurture-centric world where their children reflect on them at every level. Doubting one’s child means doubting oneself.
The result of our child obsession is that parents are overprotective. They want to cushion their children from every scratch and get involved in every incident that makes their children feel emotional or physical pain. This is precisely what causes parents to call schools when their child gets a B or ring up other parents when something mean is said on the schoolyard or other symptoms of “helicopter parenting.” Children are not encouraged to struggle through the feelings of pain and hurt and find a solution; instead, parents are expected to get involved and fix it and most enter the ring voluntarily. In these environments, there’s no social solidarity amongst parents and parents are unable to hear criticism about their child. Instead, such critiques are viewed as attacks and are used as weapons when parents want others to control their children their way.